The topic, set by the organizers (5MS.ro) was “The break”, and I chose to incorporate it into a story about my life, and share with the wonderful people there how I found my true path in life.
On my way to the event I was pretty nervous, and I was struggling with fear of speaking in front of all these people. The difference is, whereas on different occasions in my past I chose to let that fear control me and give up whatever I was doing, this time I chose to act, in spite of it.
I knew that deep down inside I wanted to be on that stage, and that desire was stronger than the fear. Little did I know that life would reward me in the most surprising way for this decision.
Of the ten speakers I was supposed to go second, which made me think: “This would give me a breather, a little time get used to the venue, audience and the vibe, and see the feedback the first speaker gets”.
Well, have you ever heard the saying: “When you think you have all the answers, life drops by and changes all the questions”?
My carefully laid out plan went right down the toilet, as the first speaker approached me, saying “Razvan, would you go first? I have some trouble with the slides.”
You can imagine my expression. I was going to just relax in that comfort of hearing someone else speak before me, and there I was, confronted with the fact that I have about 2 minutes before I go on stage. What was I supposed to say to that request? Knowing full well that whatever life has in store for me, it will be in my best interest, I mumbled a:
“Ok, I agree”… adding a “but you owe me big time!” to sort of complete the sentence.
The intensity of the feeling that the deadline is approaching grew even higher, and the more I tried to control it, the more it gained in proportions. Until I got sick of it, said “Fuck it!” in my head, so I would be the only one to hear it (God forbid that anyone else would hear that, “what will they think of me?”, that age-old question that kept annoying me for the past 30 years), thinking to myself that whatever happens-happens. No need to get stressed about it.
The announcer called me on stage, and, being a comedian, he threw some humor my way. I think at myself as being a funny guy on occasions, but this time I was so tense that if you tickled me with a thousand feathers I still wouldn’t laugh.
So I didn’t react much to his jokes, leaving the poor guy hanging, and, seeing that he doesn’t have a chance at squeezing a smile out of me, he just gave up and gave me the microphone.
I started speaking, and, after a minute or so I began feeling relaxed and feeling good about it and about the fact that I got to share something personal about my life with the people there.
I spoke about the fact that I’m happy that right now I’m on the right path, it feels right to me and I’m going to do whatever it takes to help as many people as possible through life coaching, writing books and speaking.
They applauded me, and at the break a few people came by, one of them even saying that he found himself in my story, and another congratulating me twice for the speech and for a recent article in my blog that he liked.
“Nice people” I said to myself, whilst getting my phone out to check for missed calls. There was one call, which was made exactly when I was on stage, by a person who organizes “The Journey” with Brandon Bays seminars in Romania.
I thought to myself: “This is weird… Why would she call at 7 pm?”
I paid 300 euro for the seminar a few days back, and thought that there may have been a glitch with the payment or something related to an upcoming meeting we were going to have.
I called her back, and was stunned to hear her saying to me: “Razvan, there’s been a raffle for all the participants that paid for the seminar by March 1st, and you’ve won the big prize, which means you get you money back!”
I just stood there. I couldn’t believe it. “Is this really happening? I get a prize of 300 euro exactly at the time when I was facing my fear of speaking in public and doing something I love, in spite of that fear?”
I got goose bumps. This was a message from another realm, from the universe, maybe from life itself. It was telling me that what I was doing was right.
This was a powerful experience, and it shook me to my core. I have something to accomplish in this world, I have a meaning, a purpose and everything around me is telling me I’m on the right path. All I want is to help people be happy, and it seems more and more that this is what I am meant to do!
Nothing can stop me from living my dreams, no one can keep me from my destiny and from the life I’ve been searching for the last 30 years. I’ve waited too long for it. It’s my true path, it’s life calling me to live and to be alive.
P.S.: A special “Thank you” to Valentin Oanto and Cristina Raduta who have been unknowingly playing a part in this wonderful experience of my life.