Understand Men! / Intelege Barbatii!

Varianta in limba romana

Understand Men!

Intelege barbatii - Understand menMen are genetically predisposed to hiding their feelings. Believe me, I’m a man – I know.

For a man, sharing his feelings with another man is the equivalent of looking at that man at a urinal. You know what I mean.

We have a tough time connecting to other men in the way women do with other women. Women are networking and communication experts. We, men, need reasons to connect.

Men connect to each other especially when at least one of the following 2 conditions is met:

1.    A car hood is open

2.    A table with alcohol on it is in sight

First one is easy: a situation when a car hood is open, and a man is busy around the car will irresistibly attract other men.

This has absolutely NOTHING to do with repairing the car and everything to do with connecting. Men who have absolutely no knowledge of how a car engine works will stand around talking about it for hours.

A man who feels the need to connect with other men will go as far as to tinker with his car and make it look like he has work to do in order to get other men to come around and talk to him.

A car is a common interest around men, fact proven to me the other day, when a kid playing with his remote controlled car attracted various men passing by, including me, making us stop and take a peek.

Second: alcohol. When alcohol is around, it creates a reason, an excuse to connect.

I personally don’t drink. I’m not an alcohol person, I’m just not compatible with it. I drink beer maybe once or twice a year, on special occasions.

That being said, whenever I am in a group of two or more men, everybody is pressuring me to drink. They feel the need to connect with me and for that they need an intermediary. Alcohol.

I remember last year, when I spent a week on vacation in the countryside – I never drank so much in my life! Wherever I was going, a man invited me to have a drink.

You can imagine I couldn’t refuse, it was like turning them down for a conversation, which could have been perceived as a personal offense, as if I didn’t like them. So I had to drink. A lot!

Women on the other hand express themselves easier, in a more simple way.

Because of that, and many more, men need women. Women put men in touch with their emotions and that creates a powerful connection between the two sexes.

That being said, there are men who don’t need an excuse to connect. Some men. Especially those who are not afraid to say “I’m happy” or “This makes me feel good” or “I feel lost” or “I’m scared of that”.

But they are scarce and hard to find.

Sometimes, I wish they are not.



Intelege Barbatii! 

Intelege barbatii - Understand menBarbatii sunt predispusi genetic sa-si ascunda sentimentele. Credeti-ma, sunt barbat – stiu.

Ca barbat, sa spui ce simti altui barbat este ca si cum te-ai uita la el cand sunteti unul langa altul la pisoar. Intelegi ce vreau sa spun.

Ne e greu sa creem conexiuni cu alti barbati fata de femeile care fac asta cu alte femei. Femeile sunt experte in relationare si comunicare. Noi, barbatii, avem nevoie de motive pentru a crea o conexiune.

Barbatii creeaza conexiuni unii cu altii in special cand cel putin una din urmatoarele 2 conditii e indeplinita:

1.    O capota a motorului unei masini e ridicata

2.    O masa care are alcool pe ea este in apropiere

Prima este foarte simpla: cand o capota e ridicata, si un barbat are de lucru pe langa masina – e o priveliste care va fi irezistibila pentru alti barbati.

Acest lucru nu are nimic de-a face cu repararea masinii, si totul cu creearea unei conexiuni. Barbati care n-au absolut nici o cunostinta despre motorul unei masini pot sta si vorbi despre el ore intregi.

Un barbat care simte nevoia sa relationeze cu alti barbati va merge chiar atat de departe incat sa isi faca de lucru pe langa masina in speranta ca alti barbati vor veni sa vorbeasca cu el.

Masinile sunt un punct de interes comun intre barbati, lucru care mi-a fost dovedit chiar zilele trecute, cand un baiat care se juca cu masina teleghidata a atras in jurul lui barbati maturi, aici incluzandu-ma pe mine, care s-au oprit sa traga cu ochiul.

Al doilea catalizator: alcoolul. Cand alcoolul este in preajma, creeaza un motiv, o scuza pentru a comunica si a se realiza conexiuni intre barbati.

Eu personal nu beau. Pur si simplu nu sunt innebunit dupa alcool. Beau bere poate o data sau de doua ori pe an, la ocazii speciale.

Astea fiind zise, cand sunt intr-un grup de 2 sau mai multi barbati, toata lumea ma preseaza sa beau. Simt nevoia de a se conecta cu mine, si pentru asta au nevoie de un intermediar. Alcoolul.

Tin minte anul trecut, cand am petrecut o saptamana la tara – n-am baut atat de mult in viata mea! Oriunde m-as fi dus, acolo era un barbat care ma invita sa beau ceva cu el.

Va imaginati ca nu puteam refuza, ar fi fost ca si cum refuzam o conversatie, si asta putea fi perceputa ca o insulta – ca si cum nu ii placeam. Asa ca a trebuit sa beau. Mult!

Femeile pe de alta parte se exprima mult mai usor si simplu si comunica mai usor una cu alta.

Din cauza asta, si din multe altele, barbatii au nevoie de femei. Femeile ne pun in legatura cu emotiile si sentimentele noastre, si asta creeaza conexiuni puternice intre noi si ele.

Cu toate astea, exista si barbati care n-au nevoie de scuze sau motive ca sa se conecteze unii cu altii. Unii barbati. Mai ales cei carora nu le e teama sa spuna “Sunt fericit” sau “Lucrul asta ma face sa ma simt bine” sau “Sunt dezorientat” sau “Mi-e frica”.

Dar sunt rari si greu de gasit.

Uneori, mi-as dori sa nu fie asa.


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