And no, my blog isn’t about sexual issues – just in case you were wondering. Do you want it to be about sexual stuff? Just kidding. Seriously, do you? Kidding again. Let’s move on. 🙂
I had an adventurous day of doing all sorts of things, including extreme stuff like driving my car at a 45 degree angle on the concrete bank of a river, that resembled a stock car racing track, and some low-energy stuff like eating lunch and having a coffee on a nice terrace.
I loved it!
I’d like to mention that making time for myself is a relatively new concept in my life, only a few years old. Before that, I didn’t even know what “fun” was. For me, it was all about money, work and responsibilities. For 5 years I had no vacation whatsoever, and, whenever I wanted to buy something for myself that I liked, I immediately stopped myself, thinking: “I don’t have money for that” or “It can wait, I have other priorities”.
What I didn’t realize was that each time I thought those thoughts and decided to act on them (or rather “not act”) I told myself I didn’t deserve those things, and that there are more important things to attend to than myself.
That is a message that you never, EVER, EVER want to give yourself. It decreases your sense of worthiness and you essentially say to yourself that you don’t deserve those things, and that’s exactly what I was doing.
Sabotaging myself, and doing that for decades. And when I say that, I mean that not only did I prevent myself to get stuff that was readily available to me, but also (to those of you who believe in the Law of Attraction) I was preventing everything that I wanted to come my way.
When I finally realized what I was doing, I immediately stopped. And, when I say “immediately”, I mean that whole day 🙂 Because, inevitably, your brain tries to convince you to revert to the old patterns, and all you can do to prevent that from happening is to take action each day, action that tells your brain that you actually deserve those things.
And that was what I started doing, day after day: I started accepting compliments and saying “thank you” for them (instead of saying “I don’t believe you, I’m not who you say I am”), I started treating myself with time off (going to nice restaurants and cafés) and, sometimes, even with the last money I had in my pocket, I bought myself an ice cream or a latte macchiato or anything else that might make me say to myself: “I am important! I matter! I’m worth it!”
Let’s get back to the story. After that exhausting and fun day, when the sun went down, we all retreated at a friend’s place to unwind, have a few drinks (non-alcoholic for me, I’m not much of a drinker), and talk some more.
Talking about the next day, which was a Monday, one of us started saying how much she hated that she didn’t have enough time to do all the stuff she wanted.
“I’m working so hard” she said, “that some days I don’t even have time to go to the bathroom the whole workday. When I get home from work I’m exhausted, and I don’t find the energy to do the most basic house chores, like cooking dinner, let alone find time for myself. I don’t like the way I look, I’m neglecting myself. I don’t even have time to masturbate anymore. All I do is put myself on the second, third or even last place, paying more attention to someone else’s needs than my own.”
Listening to what she was saying, a bell rang in my head. Because every one of us have a mechanism that reacts to some key words, even when we’re not paying attention to what others are saying. And the key word that rang my bell was “masturbate”.
I said: “Sorry, did you just say that you don’t even have time to masturbate?”
She said: “Yes, that’s right”, with a sad and at the same time serious look on her face.
Amused and surprised at the same time by what she said and by her authenticity, I realized that she was right. Masturbation falls under the “time for yourself” category, and it’s one of those simple pleasures that, if you deny and deprive yourself of them, it has a direct impact on your self-confidence, self-esteem and sense of worth.
It doesn’t have to be that way, and you know it. You don’t have to be one of those people who forget all about themselves and put others first. You can take actions that speak directly to your inner most profound self. A simple thing like accepting a compliment, buying yourself a cappuccino, an ice cream, a new pair of jeans, a massage or whatever else you’d like can be the proof that your mind needs to turn the existing destructive beliefs you have about yourself into constructive beliefs.
By taking one step at a time you will, with each day, change your mindset completely.
Go take the first step and treat yourself TODAY!
YOU deserve it!