Is your age really your age? Think again!
Today, as I was aimlessly surfing the infinite news that Facebook chose for me to see, with nothing new in sight and hoping for a “1” colored in red to appear on the top of my screen, something happened.
I got a friend request!
“Wonderful”, I said to myself, feeling refreshed. As I approved the request, immediately I received an invitation to like my new friend’s page. Being a giving person, I gave her a like, even though it didn’t sound like the pages I usually interact with: “Frisky Curly-haired”.
She messaged me to thank me for liking her page and a conversation started, with lot of emoticons (big ones) on her part. Half-way through the conversation I came to the conclusion that she is a teenager. I mean: crazy names for pages, energetic conversation with lots of smiley faces, expressions typical for a 13-16 year-old…. All the clues were there!
“How old are you?” I asked. “39” she said, following up with a huge smiley face, as big as the conversation window. I smiled to myself, going back to the times I was in my twenties, thinking how many time I was deceived by 13 year-olds saying they were 18-20. Only online, of course.
“This isn’t any different, it’s just another kid” I thought to myself. Certain that she is lying, I continued the conversation, asking how she found me. “I read a reply you posted recently on a public blog, and I liked it”, she said, and I remembered that I indeed posted a comment to an article about cheating, basically disagreeing with the author on the subject and backing my statement on some concrete facts.
Next, she sent me a link to her blog, which was surprising considering the fact that most 13 year-olds don’t blog. I was also surprised that, although the blog had some childish titles, it had no grammar errors commonly found in teenagers’ writing and some of the phrases were a hint of a deep-thinking mind, specific to an adult.
I started thinking that maybe I was wrong, and asked her age again. “I told you, I’m 39”, came the swift answer, “Your assessment of me being 13 may refer to my psychological age”. “You might me right”, I said, as I realized that oftentimes, when I try to discover a person’s true self and dig deep enough, a child comes out of hiding from beneath the layers.
Let me open a parenthesis here and ask you this: did you know that there’s a tribe in Africa where not one knows their age? It was mind-boggling to me. Why? Because they don’t care to keep count. And… they simply don’t care. Because age doesn’t matter, and they’re right about that. Why keep track of your age? It’s just reminding you that you’re getting older and closer to death. Think about it.
My new friend inspired me to write this article because she proved that a 13-year old can be disguised as a 39 year-old.
39 was not her true age. Her true age, based on her behavior, couldn’t start with another figure than “1” – and was a two-digit figure, before you start thinking she was 100. She was a child inside, just like most of us.
We’re all kids, thinking as kids, feeling joy and hurt as kids, making decisions based on how we feel about something or someone – like kids. We love energy, passion, the power of example – like kids! The only difference is – we forget to enjoy life like the kids enjoy it and we tend to forget about ourselves and concentrate on problems and responsibilities, which consequently makes us look aged, sad and tired.
But this is not who we are. We are kids. We are energy, life and passion. Let’s not ever forget that!
Thank you, Adriana, for inspiring me to write this article.
Este varsta ta cea reala? Mai gandeste-te!
Astazi, urmarind fara o tinta anume stirile infinite pe care Facebook le alesese pentru mine, fara sa vad ceva nou si interesant si in acelasi timp sperand sa vad macar un “1” colorat in rosu in partea de sus a ecranului, ceva s-a intamplat.
Am primit o cerere de prietenie!
“Minunat”, mi-am spus, simtindu-ma revigorat. Am acceptat cererea si imediat am primit si o invitatie de a da “Like” la pagina noii mele prietene. Si, fiindca sunt o persoana generoasa, i-am dat Like, chiar daca pagina ei nu suna ca celelalte pagini cu care interactionez in mod current: “Zapacita Creata”.
Mi-a trimis apoi un mesaj in care imi multumea pentru ca i-am apreciat pagina, si o conversatie a inceput sa se dezvolte, presarata din abundenta cu emoticoni (din aia mari) din partea ei. Pe la jumatatea conversatiei am tras concluzia ca este adolescenta. Nume ciudate de pagini, conversatie energica cu multi smiley, expresii tipice pentru cineva intre 13 si 16 ani…. Prea multe indicii!
“Cati ani ai?” am intrebat-o. “39” a venit raspunsul, urmat de un smiley urias, mare cat fereastra de chat. Am zambit in sinea mea, revenindu-mi in minte amintirile de la varsta de 20 de ani, si gandindu-ma de cat de multe ori am fost pacalit de copii de 13 ani care spuneau ca au 18-20. Numai online, bineinteles, nu s-a ajuns atat de departe incat sa ma si intalnesc cu respectivii.
“Situatia asta nu e cu nimic diferita, e doar un alt copil” m-am gandit. Sigur ca ma minte, am continuat conversatia, intreband-o cum m-a gasit. “Am dat peste un comentariu pe care l-ai postat recent pe un blog public, si mi-a placut. Asa m-am decis sa te caut si sa te adaug in lista de prieteni.” a spus, si mi-am amintit ca intr-adevar asa era, chiar comentasem la un articol despre “inselat”, fiind in dezacord total cu autorul si oferind dovezi concrete care sa-mi sustina parerea.
Apoi, in timp ce am continuat sa vorbim, mi-a trimis un link al blog-ului ei, lucru surprinzator luand in considerare faptul ca majoritatea celor care au 13 ani nu au blog. Am fost de asemenea surprins sa observ ca, desi articolele ei aveau titluri cu nume copilaresc, nu aveau greseli gramaticale sau de exprimare, comune la adolescenti, si chiar unele fraze indicau o minte cu gandire profunda, caracteristica unui adult.
Am inceput sa ma gandesc ca poate m-am inselat, si am intrebat-o din nou ce varsta are. “Ti-am zis, am 39”, a venit raspunsul rapid, “faptul ca mi-ai zis ca am 13 se poate datora varstei mele psihologice”. “S-ar putea sa ai dreptate”, i-am raspuns, realizand ca de multe ori, cautand sa gasesc adevaratul “eu” al celor cu care interactionez si sapand suficient de adanc, am observat ca un copil iese la suprafata, din ascunzisul straturilor.
Dati-mi voie sa deschid o paranteza aici si sa va intreb: stiati ca exista un trib in Africa unde nimeni nu-si cunoaste varsta? Nu mi-a venit sa cred nici mie prima oara. De ce nu-si stiau varsta? Pentru ca nu puneau pret prea mare pe ea. Mai mult de atat: pur si simplu nu le pasa. Pentru ca varsta nu conteaza, si au dreptate aici. De ce sa tii socoteala? Ca sa-ti reamintesti singur ca imbatranesti si te apropii de moarte? Te face sa te gandesti, nu?
Noua mea prietena virtuala m-a inspirat sa scriu articolul asta pentru ca mi-a dovedit ca cineva de 13 ani se poate deghiza ca cineva de 39.
Varsta ei nu e 39. Varsta ei, data de comportament, nu ar putea sa inceapa cu alta cifra decat “1” – si e compusa din doua cifre, inainte sa va ganditi ca ar avea 100 de ani. E doar un copil in interior, ca si noi, restul.
Suntem cu totii niste copii, gandim ca niste copii, luam decizii bazandu-ne pe ceea ce simtim despre ceva sau cineva – cum fac copiii. Iubim energia, pasiunea, puterea exemplului – ca si copiii! Singura diferenta intre noi si copii este ca tindem sa uitam de noi si ne concentram atentia spre probleme si responsabilitati, lucru care in mod firesc si logic ne face sa aratam imbatraniti, tristi si obositi.
Dar toate astea nu ne caracterizeaza. Suntem copii. Suntem energie, viata si pasiune. Sa nu uitam niciodata asta!
Multumesc, Adriana, ca m-ai inspirat sa scriu articolul asta.
Razvan Costea | Life Coach 